1. |
Buffalo Hunter
03:48
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Wish I had a nickel, wish I had a dime
Wish I had my own true love to warm this lonely life
I left my sweetheart in Virginia, and I came out west alone
Said I’d send her some money for a railroad fare just as soon as I found home
Rode with Freddy Jackson out on the open range
We shot 100 buffalo and we left them carcasses lay
I wish I had my own true love
100 hides up to Ellsworth, they brought a quarter each
Old Jackson gambled his money all away, now he’s broke as broke can be
But me I bought a mule team and a bull tongue moldboard plow
Gonna stay and make my living, boys, the best way I know how
I wish I had my own true love
This land is long and lovely, suits me mighty fine
Gonna build a little cabin on the Ninnescah river
Gonna live in Ninnescah time
I wrote my sweetheart a letter saying come whenever you can
She sent me back my last gold dollar, said she’s marrying another man
I wish I had my own true love
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2. |
Hog Killing
04:57
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A bullet to the head, and a knife to the throat
Not one, but both, to do the job right
We’ve pinched and skimped, cussed and cried
To keep the feed bins full and the mortgage paid
But God, how I love these frozen nights
Step through the barn, hold the lantern high
Our breath all melding crystalline
All life exhales in silence
Let them all stand still for the bullet, let them die with the sound of the shot in the air
Let them each lock eyes with the shooter in the moment before the shot rings
Let the jugular blood spring hot to the knife, as hogs turn to people
By our hunger, by the blood on our hands, we persist a little longer
We walk alone over grazed out milo stubble fields
Thinking about the payments due in the coming year
The cattle bunched up to the south of the cedar trees
Not far from dried up well and the water tank
We walk the same path right down to the dust
Feet and hooves alike trace the same tracks
Throw my bones in the gully where the sheeps’ and the hogs’ bleach white
When my time comes
Let the stroke or the heart attack drop me, let me die on my way to the ground
Let me go on a tender word that my wife and my kids might remember
Let me leave some advice for my grandkids: “Stay home and fry yourself a sandwich”
By our hunger, our bond is renewed, and we persist a little longer
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3. |
Indian Blanket Flower
04:17
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Are you lonely there, in the corner of the cemetery yard
Or wherever exactly it is you are?
I don’t have too much to say, talking to the open air
Well, anyway, if you can hear me, I guess you’d already know
There’s an Indian blanket flower coming up in the middle of the mugwort
And the beads that your dad left hanging on the trellis, they’re rattling in the wind
There’s not a cloud in the sky and I wonder why
Cause I can feel this humidity weighing me down
And I haven’t been able to get out from under it
I weep for my daughters
And I weep for the world they’re growing up in
I weep for the friends that moved along
And I weep now for no reason at all
Now there’s three little girls gathered round the piano
They’re pounding out melodies I’d never dream of
I hear you singing their bedtime songs upstairs in the lamplight
My heart runneth over knowing how lucky I am
I weep for the wife who still loves me
And I weep for the world that she lives in
I weep for the friends that moved along
And I weep now for no reason at all
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4. |
Pitamakin Pass
03:30
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I sent a prayer on the back of a raven
Addressed to the walls of the Leprechaun Canyon
In hopes that the maker’d forgive the confusion
Of neural connections for the thoughts that flow through them
Oh my God, you found me
Scrambling through the narrows of your mind
I sent a prayer in the curl of a ram’s horn
May we remember our wildness, the reason we came here
May we take on the power of Pitamakin Overlook
May our hearts reflect something of this vastness and solitude
Oh my God, you found me
Topping out the ridge line
When my heart breaks, when my cup overflows
When I’m brought to tears hanging off the side of a mountain
Or on the fountain green road,
Walking in a late summer sunset with my daughters
I’ll be out in the back yard staring up at the funnel cloud
And if it swallows me up and spits me out in the stratosphere
If I fall, may I know I’m falling
If I die, may I know I’m dying
To those I love, may they know I love them
And while I live, may I be absorbed in every moment
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5. |
A Better Day
02:46
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Tell me what’s so wrong with singing Jackson Browne
Or sitting quiet when the singing does no good?
Tell me why you’ll paint a hundred portriats of a hundred perfect strangers
When you came to paint the sunset over Tabagauche
It’s America. We got bills to pay
Keep on showing up and hoping for a better day
Tell me what’s the number I should shoot for in my 401k
Before I can leave this place and go out on my own
I should be thankful for the good things that I’ve had, don’t I know it…
Have I stepped in the same trap as every man I’ve ever known
Though I smelled it from a mile away?
Traded hope in dimes and pennies for security
Found it wasn’t quite the life that I expected it to be
In America. We got bills to pay
Keep on showing up and hoping for a better day
And on that day, the list grows ever longer what I want to do
Twenty years of wishes that I’ve held onto
I hope I’m strong and I live long enough to make it worthwhile.
Tell me what’s so wrong with singing Jackson Browne
Or sitting quiet when the singing does no good.
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6. |
Blue Heron
03:04
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I saw a great blue heron circling in a deep blue sky
Circling around, circling around, circling around
I could run these woods like a spirit that’s never been found
Circling around, circling around, sink into the cold red ground
I turned and wandered downstream, head held high on a slender neck
Waiting for a sign, waiting for a sign, waiting for a sign
Two big snapping turtles lay in the middle of the creek in a shallow spot
I am not alone, I am not alone, life just keeps on moving
I stand with one foot on dry land
I know you’ve seen me here before
Step down the bank, stretch out a hand
And we’ll walk together for a while
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7. |
The Orchard
02:47
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Bring a shovel and sapling, bring a pail of water
Say a prayer for the future, keep that hope alive
Oatmeal in the morning, cornbread every night
Someday we’ll have apple cider, butter, sauce, and pie
The bills are due, the money’s tight but I think everything will be alright
Ain’t got much in the way of things but I got you and you got me
Green yellow and azure, big wide open sky
Walk this road a hundred miles to see my darling smile
Work my way through the afternoon hoeing corn and beans
The sun goes down, run on home, she’s waiting there for me
If that little tree dies, plant two more in its place
Try not to sweat the small stuff, keep a slow and steady pace
Got two on the ground and one on the way, the family’s getting bigger
There’s a lot to learn and a lot to love and life moves ever quicker
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8. |
Strawberry Fence
02:59
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I built a six foot fence but no gate
So the barred rocks run loose anyway
And a red tailed hawk will pick one off every once in a while
I try not to let it bother me
I built a strawberry bed to the west of the greenhouse
I dug myself a grave and lined it in sandstone
One of these days when the sun shines bright on the strawberry flowers
Maybe 60 years from now you’ll have to lay me down
Some are red and summer green, rhubarb stems and apricot leaves
The wood’s all cut, the cistern’s full, let’s raise a glass to growing older
When we run out of our summertime moonlit walks
Down through the pasture to the banks of the Silver creek
I know my heart will still long for your company
Down by the water’s edge for Orion’s farewell
I changed the points and the coil and it runs now
The steering gear needs replaced
But there’s too much work and no time to waste
So I keep tension on the linkage with the toe of my right boot
I try not to let it bother me
I set the rows while the girls lay potatoes with eyes to the sky
We covered them up while the sky turned dark and the sun burned red
I climbed the silo to see if the fire was headed our way
It was too far off to see but I felt that fear rising up in me
I’m not afraid of going to rest
I’m not afraid of dying
I’ll spend the moments that I have left
Out in the garden with you.
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9. |
Shadow Come Creeping
02:50
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Its been 99 years since the day that I was born
63 since I was found
Hanging from the rafters on an old harness line
By a neighbor on his way into town
The evening before was a terrible sight
Came the sheriff and the county clerk
By the power given them in the law and God above
They’d remove us from this dairyman’s work
I am the ghost in the loft of the barn
Footfalls that come out of nowhere
The land made an offer I could not refuse
But neither could I pay what was due
They gave us til the morning to pack up and go
But when my darling and the children lay asleep
One by one I sent their souls up to knock on Heaven’s door
As their bodies grew cold in my arms
Lit my lantern and stepped out to the barn
I am the shadow come creeping upstairs
By the light of the cars on the highway
I’ll dwell in regret til the rivers run fire
And the earth melts away in the bitter end
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10. |
Viceroy
03:27
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A hooded merganser and I had a little talk on the reservoir
I said “I’m not sure what I’m doing with my life”
And he said “You’re wasting it.
You drink too much beer and you smoke too much sneezeweed
You always want to be off in some state of sedation.
You never learned to be lucid in waking.”
I paddled through Wenzel cove and up toward the park boundary
Saw the giant carp laying halfway out of the water
Before he turned and swam into the deeper channel
On up to the beaver dam with the willows hanging low over the water
Tied the canoe up and stepped out
Into the cottonwoods to stretch my legs.
“I catch a monarch with a torn wing
And I stare at it in awe
Or is it a viceroy I am beholding?
The insect trembles in my open hand
Or is my hand trembling?” -Gene Logsdon
Is the whole world trembling?
You said don’t let my world grow smaller, make it larger
Well, I’m trying, but I’m fighting my instincts.
That’s as it should be, I guess.
I’ve usually thought of myself as a decent person
But I’m seeing there’s some self deception involved with that.
I got so caught up in my little problems
That I forgot what I was doing here in the first place
It’s on the tip of my tongue.
“I catch a monarch with a torn wing
And I stare at it in awe
Or is it a viceroy I am beholding?
The insect trembles in my open hand
Or is my hand trembling?” -GL
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John Depew Kansas
bluegrass-adjacent songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. frier of chicken, salad eater, coffee drinker.
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